🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Winter2024]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

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Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2024]

😴  Wishing everyone "rest & sweet dreams" TONIGHT!!!

Anyone NEED "rain" = I will be happy to SHARE./lol  🤣😂

Hope YOUR day was PEACEFUL.

Luv you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Wow Nicole...we had some big rain storms here this afternoon too! I'm glad it was nice this morning for my tennis game and I'm grateful when the rain is on the outside and not on the inside.

Marcy

[Winter2024]

So Marcy @MarcyW882921 , guess WHICH DAYS there is NO rain. As you guys know I STAY IN Friday, Saturday & Sunday. Yes, those 3 days. Then guess what is SUPPOSE to happen on my 4 days of errands and so on. YES, MORE RAIN./lol  🤣😂  Maybe Mother Nature does NOT want me to finish waxing my car BEFORE it gets cold.  🙄🙄🙄  Hmmm, wonder if she takes "bribes"... Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MARCY wrote: Wow Nicole...we had some big rain storms here this afternoon too! I'm glad it was nice this morning for my tennis game and I'm grateful when the rain is on the outside and not on the inside.

Marcy ***]

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[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @Winter2024 , if it's like it is here, the weather forecast changes by the hour. Don't give up hope for some good errand running weather.

Marcy

[Winter2024]

🤔  Any CHORUS NEWS Marcy @MarcyW882921 ?

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[MarcyW882921]

No regular chorus news since I missed last week while traveling. I will be doing another short term thing with another choral group beginning next month and ending with a show in February. I'm looking forward to singing and performing with a mixed group.

Marcy

[Winter2024]

Bionic Marcy @MarcyW882921 , missing you and know you "is" having FUN with your family up North.

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you for missing me. It was great to see my family in person and also great to be back home! I am off to the courts this morning to resume my "normal" life.😂🎾

Marcy

[Winter2024]

🗣  Group Discussion: Any NATURE FOLKS out there?  📸  Attachment  📸  They say it HEALS our "insides" and "encourages" as we MOVE FORWARD. Hmmm, are you maybe gardening - taking walks outside and so on? Stop by when YOU feel up to it and SHARE your experience. I luv gardening but scared of SNAKES!!!  😱😱😱

[Winter2024]

Cadee @Cadee2719 , LAST year 2023 when we were chatting about my interest in the MOON - you had mentioned having had a TELESCOPE in the past. Was it one of those HUGE ones? Yes, after diverting from my STUDIES for a FEW MONTHS (dealing with a.sholes ABOVE me & more water leaks in my apt  🙄),  I am FINALLY ready to get back ON TRACK!!!  💃💃💃

Thanks my friend.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  No it was my grandson's telescope, not a really big one.  Now I am looking for binoculars so I can sit at my dining room window and identify all the birds that come to my feeder.  I figure when it snows and I am "held captive" in my home I can entertain myself by bird watching!  

[Winter2024]

🐦  I had just heard a bird chirping away in spite of this NEVER ending RAIN and was "reminded" of a few things. One, this bird is HAPPY in spite of being drenched. I DO NOT need to go to Dollar tree TODAY, an "addiction" of YEARS. Yes, EVERY payday before RETIRING - I would be in the store. Well, I "is" NOW retired and "inherited" a cat who NEEDS luv, food and a home when he "decides" to stop by. Of late I guess he considers me Mom and as usual, spends the day with me. Lol, but 10pm - see you until breakfast in the morning. My ROAM at night boy. Nature saved me from "messing" up my budget TODAY and has been a SOURCE of comfort throughout the years.  💃💃💃

[Winter2024]

OUR MEMBERS HELPING MEMBERS TEAM  🤗🤗🤗

Julie @JulieT507376 , Jonibee @jonibee , Cadee @Cadee2719 , MC @mc6844 and Marcy @MarcyW882921 , Lisa @LisaJP6763 and Nicole (me).

[Cadee2719]

  Morning to all!  It breaks my heart to think that Julie is going through the same journey as we are.  I pray that she will take One Step At a Time and be kind to herself.  It seems as if life continues to be a struggle and we must be strong to survive.  My brother (the reason why I moved here) was rushed to the hospital.  He had fallen in the bathroom and caused damage to the orbital bone around his eye!  While in the hospital they discovered that he was having heart issues as well. (something that every member of my family died from)   They think that is what made him fall.  I am glad that they are taking care of all these issues and pray that he will be released soon.  All he asked of me is to bring him cabbage rolls!  😂  He is the last sibling of seven and I don't want to lose him.   

[Winter2024]

SENDING LOTS AND LOTS OF HUGS YOUR WAY!!!  🤗🤗🤗

Julie @JulieT507376 , Jonibee @jonibee , Cadee @Cadee2719 , MC @mc6844 and Marcy @MarcyW882921 , Lisa @LisaJP6763 .

[jonibee]

My follow up visit showed that the surgery procedure did what was expected and the leg should show improvement over the next month..I also found out that I may have what they call "Baker's Cyst" where the legs bend a fluid build-up with extra attention as to what causes the sudden onset of pain such as Arthrities, salty foods, and other things  refraining and laying on ones side using cold or heat and taking Ibeprofen or Motrin should help with pain. Or see an Orthopedic for further tx...Always something to contend with..I go back in a month for release and then another appt. for other leg to be done...I find that after going to the doctors, it poops me out literally and I am good for nothing the rest of the day...Oh well, there's always tomorrow and what that brings..

[Cadee2719]

  I finally got an appointment with a family doctor in December.  I am hoping that she can diagnose the pain in my legs.  I had an ultrasound last year and they said the blood flow was fine BUT the pain is intense, so much so that I actually thought I had a blood clot in one leg.  When I finally got to see the cardiologist (after 3 months!) he said if it were a blood clot the leg would be red and warm.  I am hoping that I can find someone to diagnose why all this pain in my legs.

[Winter2024]

[9/16/24] Cadee @Cadee2719 , could it be arithis (spelling off  🙄) or a cyst like Jonibee @jonibee ?  🤔

Luv you my friend,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** CADEE wrote: I finally got an appointment with a family doctor in December.  I am hoping that she can diagnose the pain in my legs.  I had an ultrasound last year and they said the blood flow was fine BUT the pain is intense, so much so that I actually thought I had a blood clot in one leg.  When I finally got to see the cardiologist (after 3 months!) he said if it were a blood clot the leg would be red and warm.  I am hoping that I can find someone to diagnose why all this pain in my legs. ***]

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[jonibee]

Cadee..Make an appt. with a vascular doctor and they will do ultra sounds again on  your leg(s) and determine whether or not it could be the veins Venous Reflux where the valves don't work like they should ..Atleast this would be ruled out for you ..Meanwhile prop your legs up when you can and use cool or warm to ease the pain .Good Luck..jonibee

[Cadee2719]

  Thank You   I will begin the search for a vascular doctor.  I hope it won't take months to complete this.  It takes forever to get into a doctor here.  I know I have rheumatoid arthritis, BUT the pain in my legs is EVERY DAY, ALL THE TIME as soon as I get out of bed.  Thank You for the information.  I hope that you are recovering well and have resolved the problem.  

[Winter2024]

[9/16/24] So Jonibee @jonibee , will the CYST go away with a LIFESTYLE change?  🤔

Luv you my friend,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JONIBEE wrote: My follow up visit showed that the surgery procedure did what was expected and the leg should show improvement over the next month..I also found out that I may have what they call "Baker's Cyst" where the legs bend a fluid build-up with extra attention as to what causes the sudden onset of pain such as Arthrities, salty foods, and other things  refraining and laying on ones side using cold or heat and taking Ibeprofen or Motrin should help with pain. Or see an Orthopedic for further tx...Always something to contend with..I go back in a month for release and then another appt. for other leg to be done...I find that after going to the doctors, it poops me out literally and I am good for nothing the rest of the day...Oh well, there's always tomorrow and what that brings.. ***]

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[jonibee]

It can and if it doesn't then an Orthopedic doctor would assess it and sometimes the fluid can be drained off to alleviate the pain..I notice it more when I retire to bed and when laying on my back so I will turn on my side and take a pill if it pains. If you google "Baker's Cysts" a whole lot of ingo comes up including exercise and what to eat so not to add to it..like omitting salty items which makes water and certain other foods aggravate it too..Also wear compression stockings ...

[Winter2024]

How are YOU???

It's MONDAY = neighbors ABOVE me returned to work after a WEEKEND FROM H.LL with them!!! Happy Dance TRIPLE time. 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

I am getting BETTER at being "patient" about MOVING = waiting on laid off daughter to "figure out" WHERE her next job is before I move "closer" to her. Lol, but I still have MY MOMENTS of wanting to do bodily harm to them when they are driving me crazy.  🤣😂

Well, Kroger as usual today to shop (NOT too much, VERY EXPENSIVE  😭), cash in one of my WINNING $1 scratch-off tickets.

Also what I call a CAT BROOM DAY as Mr.  🐈  thinks he OWNS my Studio Apt and on those days when I am NOT at home ALL DAY (retired) he REFUSES to go outside when I am LEAVING apt.  🙄🙄🙄  1st time back in May of this year when I "inherited" him, lol - he looked at me & broom like I AM SO NOT SCARED OF YOU. Then fought the broom. Sorry my boy, cannot leave you inside as you will lose it and hurt yourself. Nope, determined to come and go ALL DAY. But the GOOD NEWS, after that BATTLE in May - all I have to do now is bring out my broom when I am ready to leave and OUT HE GOES.  👍👍👍

Everyone, please keep OUR Julie @JulieT507376 in your thoughts. ANOTHER "difficult" day for our friend.  😭😭😭  NOW TO HOPE life gives her a much needed break from Family Funerals.

Luv you ALL very much,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  HAPPINESS IS BEING OWNED BY A CAT!  😁  My son is having a similiar experience.  There is a cat (with a collar) that comes into his home and visits on a regular basis.  The previous owners had two indoor cats and my son thinks this cat is a friend that visited often.  Funny there are no feral cats in my neighborhood.  I am still questioning whether or not I want a pet to care for.  After being a caregiver since 2001 and especially the last 7 months of Hospice Care,  I honestly don't want to care for anything, even a plant right now.

[Winter2024]

📸  Attachment  📸  [9/15/24] Those "small" steps WE sometimes take DO COUNT!!! 🙂

[JulieT507376]

Funeral done now internment tomorrow at national cemetery.  My iPhone pops up slide shows periodically.  Tonight a selfie from nine months before Mark passed popped up.  His smile was full of love.  Don’t recall seeing the photo before or even know where it was taken.  I know he’s here with me!  I need him soooo much.  

[Winter2024]

[9/15/24] A QUESTION FOR OUR TWO AARP EXPERTS!!!  🤗🤗🤗

Hi Amy @agoyer and Jane @JaneCares .

I HOPE you are BOTH well and thank you SO MUCH for stopping by the AARP Grief & Loss Forum to help us.  👍👍👍

What has HELPED you to MOVE FORWARD after losing someone you CARED about?

*** Does anyone else have a QUESTION for these two caring and compassionate AARP Experts? ***

Thanks,

Nicole (Grief Support Group)

[agoyer]

@Winter2024 After caregiving for both of my parents and my sister for many years (more than a decade) I had a very difficult time adjusting after they had all passed on. After Dad died (he was the last one) I was numb for a few months. Then slowly unthawed. It took about 3 yrs before I felt more like myself. I wrote this column about what it felt like. Life After Caregiving: The Unexpected Beginning. I hope it will be helpful for some of you to see how I managed and found meaning in my life again. Now - Dad has been gone 6 years, Mom since 2013 and my sister Karen since 2014. My niece died in 2012 from suicide - she was just 19 years old. I still think about them all every day. My life will never be the same, but I can feel joy and I have things I look forward to and I have meaning in my life. ❤️  There is hope! And I do have moments now when I smile when I think of them, a good memory comes to mind before I feel sad about missing them. The anguish gets better - or really we just learn to handle it differently over time. Time doesn't extinguish the anguish and sadness and loss, it helps us put it in a place where we can deal with it. Acknowledge it, while also living our lives and feeling joy and love and having fun. It can all co-exist. One doesn't cancel out the other. 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

[mc6844]

Amy, thank you for your article. You progressed  through it all to a place of

peace and hope. I'm so sorry for your losses. It's true that   life is never the same.

[MarcyW882921]

Amy @agoyer ,

Thank you for your article. There were many things I could relate to and it was helpful to see my feelings expressed in your words.

Marcy