HBR Staff/Getty Images/unomat
Summary.
Passive-aggressive behavior from a manager often manifests as a boss appearing agreeable on the surface while letting deeper problems brew below. This may look like continuously finding gentle ways to shut down your ideas without a thoughtful explanation or a boss who practices nonverbal, dismissive behaviors like rolling their eyes at you, ignoring you while you speak, or responding to you with sarcasm. How can you navigate this kind of relationship?- Build a supportive network. Because a passive-aggressive manager doesn’t confront you directly, it’s easy to second-guess yourself and believe you’re inventing slights. People outside of your organization will be able to offer you a fresh, unbiased perspective, emotional support, and even sage advice on how to deal with your boss.
- Keep a log of your interactions with your manager so you can remember everything that’s happened and evaluate the relationship objectively. A log can help you ensure you’re on the same page and give you proof of your efforts.
- Even if your boss is engaging in gossip behind your back, don’t stoop to their level. This could give you a negative reputation with colleagues. That said, remember there is a difference between gossiping and actively looking for solutions.
- Network internally. Should you want to switch teams or department, expanding your connections within the company is a great way to start.
- Know when it’s time to leave. After you believe you’ve exhausted all of your options, then it’s probably time to look for greener pastures. Prioritize your well-being and career above all else.
You’ve started a new job and feel great about the role. You’re ready to jump in and deliver. But over time, you realize that there might be something wrong. You and your manager aren’t seeing eye-to-eye on topics that are key to the department’s success. Rather than addressing the issue directly, you discover that your boss has been expressing general displeasure and disappointment with your performance to others in the office.