Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
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Narrated by:
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Tyler Perry
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By:
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Tyler Perry
About this listen
If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea's Family Reunion, it's that she's got something to say. For as long as people can remember, Madea has been in the neighborhood - she's the beloved, hilarious, sharp-witted, pistol-packing grandmother who's watching out and speaking her mind.
Now Madea is telling her own story, dishing her memoirs and hard-won, hilarious wisdom in her own inimitable voice (with a little help from her friend Tyler Perry). Madea covers every topic you want to hear her on, from the art of flirting, to love and marriage (sometimes two very separate topics), and raising kids (including the full story on the bag o' belts).
She also opines on beauty tips (featuring her indispensable advice on the miraculous benefits of Vasoline), the healthy choice of a deep-fried diet, and the Bible (including her favorite Bible story, as you have definitely never heard it before) - and pretty much everything else.
Madea has lived quite a life, and she has some stories to tell. And they're all here. As she's fond of saying, "Sometimes life is hard, and you have to laugh your way through it."
©2006 Tyler Perry Inc. (P)2007 Penguin Audio, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Inimitable." (Ebony)
"Hilarious." (The New York Times Book Review)
"Wicked." (Entertainment Weekly)
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- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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Gloria
- By: Kerry Young
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Jamaica, 1938. Gloria Campbell is sixteen years old when a single violent act alters the course of her life forever. Taking along her younger sister, she flees their hometown to forge a new life in Kingston. But in a capital city awash with change, a black woman is still treated as a second-class citizen. From a room in a boarding house and a job at a supply store, Gloria finds her way to a house of ill repute on the edge of the city, intrigued by the glamorous, financially independent women within.
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Awesome story! And Robin Miles is a star!!
- By atlfolk on 06-23-18
By: Kerry Young
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After I'm Gone
- A Novel
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Dead is dead. Missing is gone. When Felix Brewer meets nineteen-year-old Bernadette "Bambi" Gottschalk at a Valentine's Day dance in 1959, he charms her with wild promises, some of which he actually keeps. Thanks to his lucrative - if not all legal - businesses, she and their three little girls live in luxury. But on the Fourth of July in 1976, Bambi's comfortable world implodes when Felix, facing prison, vanishes. Though Bambi has no idea where her husband - or his money - might be, she suspects one woman does: his devoted young mistress, Julie.
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Cannot rate this highly enough!
- By C. Vincent on 03-05-14
By: Laura Lippman
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The Eden Express
- A Memoir of Insanity
- By: Mark Vonnegut
- Narrated by: Pete Cross
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Mark Vonnegut set out in search of Eden with his VW bug, his girlfriend, his dog, and his ideals, but genetic predisposition and a whole lot of shit going down made him crazy in a culture that told him mental illness is a myth and schizophrenia is a sane response to an insane society. Describing his experiences during the late '60s and early '70s, Eden Express reveals how Mark went from being a recent college grad who was in love and living communally on a farm to having nervous breakdowns.
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Touches the challenges of human condition
- By Glenn Ainsworth on 06-23-23
By: Mark Vonnegut
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32 Candles
- A Novel
- By: Ernessa T. Carter
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
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2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
- By Nevada on 10-03-12
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The Pursuit of Happyness (Abridged)
- By: Chris Gardner
- Narrated by: Andre Blake
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
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Performance
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At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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BUtterfield 8
- By: John O'Hara, Lorin Stein - introduction
- Narrated by: Gretchen Mol
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A masterpiece of American fiction and a best seller upon its publication in 1935, BUtterfield 8 lays bare with brash honesty the unspoken and often shocking truths that lurked beneath the surface of a society still reeling from the effects of the Great Depression. One Sunday morning, Gloria wakes up in a stranger's apartment with nothing but a torn evening dress, stockings, and panties. When she steals a fur coat from the wardrobe to wear home, she unleashes a series of events that can only end in tragedy.
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Wildly Uneven
- By David P on 08-27-15
By: John O'Hara, and others
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Peace from Broken Pieces
- How to Get Through What You're Going Through
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter's 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day.
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Iyanla is Inspirational! A GREAT LISTEN!!!
- By Theresa on 12-04-11
By: Iyanla Vanzant
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Appointment in Samarra
- Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition
- By: John O'Hara, Charles McGrath - introduction
- Narrated by: Christian Camargo
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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In December 1930, just before Christmas, the Gibbsville, Pennsylvania, social circuit is electrified with parties and dances. At the center of the social elite stand Julian and Caroline English. But in one rash moment born inside a highball glass, Julian breaks with polite society and begins a rapid descent toward self-destruction.
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Quite good, but not a classic
- By Michael on 04-25-15
By: John O'Hara, and others
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BRAVE
- By: Rose McGowan
- Narrated by: Rose McGowan
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In a strange world where Rose McGowan was continually on display, stardom soon became a personal nightmare of constant exposure and sexualization. Rose escaped into the world of her mind, something she had done as a child, and into high-profile relationships. Every detail of her personal life became public, and the realities of an inherently sexist industry emerged with every script, role, public appearance, and magazine cover. The Hollywood machine packaged her as a sexualized bombshell, hijacking her image and identity and marketing them.
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I always wondered what it was like to be Rose
- By Bobbie J Daniel on 03-01-18
By: Rose McGowan
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Positive Affirmations for Black Women
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Feel the truth of these affirmations as they inspire you to embrace your self-worth and harness the Law of Attraction to create the prosperous life of wealth, happiness, love, and success you deserve. Allow these profound words to serve as your armor, offering comfort and reassurance as you navigate your path toward self-love and abundance.
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great. affirmations
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The Dopeman's Wife
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Once the streets pull you in, they own you. Or at least that's the way it's been for Nautica. Growing up in the hood, all she's ever known is the fast life - fast money illicitly made through scandals and relentless scheming. But when a big scam nearly finishes her off, she decides she wants more out of life than the hustle and tries to make a new life for herself on the East Coast.
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DEPRESSING. What a F:@&$ Up Ending
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Carl Weber's Five Families of New York: Brooklyn
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While most young people are just getting their footing in life, 24-year-old Bryshon "Boogie" Tolliver is already being groomed to be a boss by his father, Barry Tolliver. At first, he's not so sure he wants to take his father's place in the family business. He has dreams of being the most prominent chef in New York. However, things change when Barry is murdered in cold blood and everything he built is left at Boogie's feet. Gone are those chef dreams, replaced with a new resolve to prove himself worthy of upholding his father's legacy.
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I expected so much more
- By Chicagoavonlady on 06-01-21
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Getting to Happy
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Savannah has awakened to the fact that she's made too many concessions in her marriage. Bernadine has watched her megadivorce settlement dwindle. Robin has an all-American case of shopaholism. Gloria has taken happiness and security for granted. But being at the wrong place at the wrong time can change everything. All four are learning to heal past hurts and to reclaim their joy and their dreams; but they return to us full of spirit, sass, and faith in one another.
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Read don't listen
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What listeners say about Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Justine Ward
- 03-12-20
Great first time listen
Tyler Perry did a great job narrating, it was nice hearing his Madea Voice!! VERY real and raw!!
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- Kimberlee N. Taylor
- 02-07-20
Typical TP keeping u laughing for hours. Loved it!
Tyler Perry always has me laughing. This book did not disappoint. It took me back to the days I had a Madea and got hit with a skillet😂
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Overall
- Diana
- 05-25-08
What a Hoot!
What an absolutely great character!! She is a total hoot, and such a fabulous inspiration for the middle aged woman. You forget that she is really Tyler Perry. This is a great book and I cannot imagine reading this book over listening to it.
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- Lene
- 04-19-19
A Big Fan
This was an awesome book to listen to...funny and enjoyable. I would recommend this book/ audio
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- missy
- 07-27-18
Hilarious
Great audio, had me laughing from start to finish. I will relisten to it anytime I want a good laugh.
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Overall
- Carmen Pinto
- 03-25-19
Funny stories with lessons.
Tyler Perry shares some funny stories through the lens of Madea with lessons. It will make you laugh and reflect. A great listen while on the way to work.
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Overall
- Nevada
- 09-16-10
~Straight Tom Foolery~ Get This Book!
This book is awesome! The best part is that it is narrated by Ma'dea. This is classic Tyler Perry. The story line...what story line? You will laugh for sure and learn a thing or two. You will also get alot of stuff you will have absolutely no use for, FUN Stuff.
Click the add to cart button. If you do this while at work it will brighten your day in the midst of your work load.
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- RC
- 07-05-21
The Best of Madea in depth life analysis!
Funny and entertaining! Love Madea views on life! Can’t wait for another of her brilliants stories!
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- Anonymous User
- 04-28-21
I love Madea! This made me laugh and think.
This was great. I was able to take a look at my own life and the people in it. Most everyone struggles with the thought of death, Now when i think of death it doesnt seem so bad when you realize the best part of death is the life you lived before it. This book gives insight to the black race for those who may not know, but its much more than that....we all no matter our race have so much in common no matter how diferent our up bringing!
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- Shelia Nixon Reeves
- 05-12-20
I laughed till my stomach hurt!
Madea is one of my all time favorite characters. I can’t imagine being blessed as a young person with her as a role model. I was so sad and devastated when I heard there won’t be any more Madea movies made. I hardly ever like watching movies more than once but I could watch Madea movies multiple times and laugh just as hard each time. If we can’t have more Madea movies please let us at least enjoy her with more books!
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