Fault Lines
Fractured Families and How to Mend Them
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Narrated by:
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Sean Pratt
About this listen
Real solutions to a hidden epidemic: family estrangement.
Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
Fault Lines shares for the first time findings from Dr. Pillemer's 10-year groundbreaking Cornell Reconciliation Project, based on the first national survey on estrangement; rich, in-depth interviews with hundreds of people who have experienced it; and insights from leading family researchers and therapists. He assures people who are estranged, and those who care about them, that they are not alone and that fissures can be bridged.
Through the wisdom of people who have "been there", Fault Lines shows how healing is possible through clear steps that people can use right away in their own families. It addresses such questions as: How do rifts begin? What makes estrangement so painful? Why is it so often triggered by a single event? Are you ready to reconcile? How can you overcome past hurts to build a new future with a relative?
Tackling a subject that is achingly familiar to almost everyone, especially in an era when powerful outside forces such as technology and mobility are lessening family cohesion, Dr. Pillemer combines dramatic stories, science-based guidance, and practical repair tools to help people find the path to reconciliation.
This program includes a downloadable PDF that contains the Appendix from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2020 Karl Pillemer (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rifts and ruptures upend tens of millions of families, leaving a trail of sorrow and despair. But in this wise and moving book, Karl Pillemer combines academic rigor and practical advice to show us how to move toward reconciliation. Fault Lines is a book that will change lives." (Daniel H. Pink, New York Times best-selling author of When, Drive, and A Whole New Mind)
"Chronic, seemingly intractable estrangement blights many families in our stressed and fragmented culture. In this thoughtful, compassionate book Karl Pillemer shows that it need not be permanent and his perceptive, gentle guidance lights the way to reconciliation." (Gabor Maté, MD, author, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction)
"Fault Lines is a masterful study of the causes family estrangements, the reasons to heal, and the ways to make it happen. Don't waste a minute. Read this book and get back together." (Jane Isay, author of Walking on Eggshells)
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Let Go of the Guilt
- Stop Beating Yourself Up and Take Back Your Joy
- By: Valorie Burton
- Narrated by: Valorie Burton
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Even women who feel fulfilled often struggle to meet the demands of modern life. Both working and stay-at-home moms agree that the expectations of women have risen dramatically in recent decades. As a result, many women overcompensate and over-apologize while the guilt dampens the joy of motherhood, relationships, and professional accomplishments. Let Go of the Guilt helps you peel back the layers of emotional, cultural, and spiritual expectations that make it difficult to navigate your multiple roles, dreams, and daily demands on your life.
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Not meant for non-religious people
- By Anna Amuse on 09-20-21
By: Valorie Burton
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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Coming Apart
- By: Daphne Rose Kingma, Katherine Woodward Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Ann Richardson
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Next to the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship is the most painful experience most people will ever go through. Coming Apart is a first aid kit for getting through the ending. It is a tool that will enable you to live through the end of your relationship with your self-esteem intact.
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Title does not reflect the content
- By NeVi on 04-25-21
By: Daphne Rose Kingma, and others
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Divorce Poison
- How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
- By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 14 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
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Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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How to Be a Best Friend Forever
- Making and Keeping Lifetime Relationships
- By: Dr. John Townsend
- Narrated by: Dr. John Townsend
- Length: 2 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Our world has diluted the meaning of friendship, but the reality is, there’s nothing like the sustaining strength of true-blue, forever friends. Still, many people are convinced that they’ll never find such lifelong connections—or that they don’t need them. In this encouraging audio book, best-selling author and psychologist John Townsend delivers hope and help for making these relationships a reality—and for making them even better if you’ve already got a “bestie.”
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This is a Christian based book.
- By lisak227 on 11-17-14
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
What listeners say about Fault Lines
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- A. A. Shaikh
- 09-11-21
Well worth it
What a wonderful book!
I read this as an estate planning attorney interested in the subject because I see it so much. It really all starts with family. This gives many tools to reconcile and ample reasons why you should, even (especially) in situations that were traumatizing and awful.
If you are thinking about this book, get it.
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- Kika
- 03-08-21
Solid content
The author is clearly interested in helping people resolve family estrangement issues. With a deep body of research on his side, he opens a window into the complicated world of family ties. Note he supports a wide concept of family ties, which include close friends. This book goes along with other ones on negotiation and dealing with difficult situations.
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- Augusta Olaore
- 01-11-24
Estrangement can be avoided and healed. There’s hope.
I have a strained relationship with my brother. I am working to avoid an estrangement by all means. I found Fault lines to be a practical handbook to navigate the delicate terrain of family relationships that become toxic. Setting boundaries and sticking to them stood out for me as well as seeing things from the other person’s perspective. Highly recommended.
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- victor f montoya
- 09-23-24
Everyone should listen to this, whether you are currently in an estrangement or not.
This has given me the most hope of reconciliation with my estranded son and his family.
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- Paula F. Braun
- 06-09-21
Fault Lines is a great book.
If you're struggling with estrangement this book gives one a lot to think about.
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1 person found this helpful
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- cjs
- 12-08-20
Excellent guide to how we can reconcile
Outstanding book, filled with the perfect blend of stories and research. I'm glad I listened all day, and I know it will help guide me as I reconcile with family members, starting with my son. I learned a lot and thank the author!
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- Suzanna Baker
- 02-03-23
A wealth of knowledge from first hand experiences
I started this book when my family experienced a rift ending in estrangement of many of its members after both of my formerly healthy parents becoming deathly ill in a matter of weeks of of each other. I turned to this book simply because I didn’t have any answers. Relationships I thought were lifelong suddenly became severed. I felt helpless and isolated. Angry and broken hearted. Hated and unheard. This book helped me understand rifts and the feeling of powerlessness that comes with closing doors and being shut out of the lives of family members. This book helped me understand that there are always two sides to every story but those sides, over time, don’t matter as much as the relationships. I felt less alone reading about others who had gone through almost identical situations if not worse. I think this book gives hope to those experiencing estrangement. If ever my family wants to mend bridges I feel like I’ll be ready on some level. Until then I found a great deal of comfort in these pages. Audible has a really great audio version.
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- Kathryn from MN
- 09-01-24
Solid advice and hope for both sides.
I am writing a book for parents who long for restoration with their estranged adult child and have read/listened to quite a few books on the topic as part of my research. This, by far, has been my favorite. It's written from the viewpoint of a sociologist who conducted in-depth interviews with all kinds of people, including those who chose the estrangement and those who long for reconciliation, those who "have no idea what they did that was so wrong" and those who took the estrangement as an opportunity for personal reflection and growth, and those that the author refers to as "the reconcilers." These are the people who decide to try again, often by processing past hurts, realizing they can live without the person in their life, learning how to set healthy boundaries, and, sometimes, by giving "one last chance." If you are estranged from a relative, I hope you'll give Fault Lines a chance, and maybe, just maybe, your relationship will be restored to something better than it ever was.
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- Tama Jones
- 01-01-21
Read worthy
Very interesting topic and definitely well structured. I found it informative and I would recommend it.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-02-21
very helpful!
loved it, good narrator,good research on this subject. i recommended it to many people i know.
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