Mark Twain's Helpful Hints for Good Living
A Handbook for the Damned Human Race
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Narrated by:
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Grover Gardner
About this listen
Irreverent, charming, and eminently quotable, this handbook - an eccentric etiquette guide for the human race - contains 69 aphorisms, anecdotes, whimsical suggestions, maxims, and cautionary tales from Mark Twain’s private and published writings. It dispenses advice and reflections on family life and public manners; opinions on topics such as dress, health, food, and childrearing and safety; and more specialized tips, such as those for dealing with annoying salesmen and burglars.
Culled from Twain’s personal letters, autobiographical writings, speeches, novels, and sketches, these pieces are delightfully fresh, witty, startlingly relevant, and bursting with Twain’s characteristic ebullience for life. They also remind us exactly how Mark Twain came to be the most distinctive and well-known American literary voice in the world. These texts, some of them new or out of print for decades, have been selected and meticulously prepared by the editors at the Mark Twain Project.
©1991 1997, and 2001 by Richard A. Watson and JP Morgan Chase Bank as Trustees of the Mark Twain Foundation. 2004 by the Regents of the University of California (P)2012 Blackstone Audio, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Story
My fiancé brought me tea and scrambled eggs in bed that morning, and we snuggled together, talking about buying our rings, and about our perfect wedding next year. Then we headed into town. He held my hand and gazed at the ring I liked best, a smile spreading slowly over his face. Then a glass of bubbly to celebrate. I felt flushed, excited and ready for the rest of my life with the man I loved. We race to get on the train home. It screams to a halt and I run towards its open doors. Made it. I think he’s right behind me — but when I turn around, he’s gone.
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Disappointing plot
- By TerriSweeta on 12-04-24
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Holiday Hideaway
- A Short Story
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Tilly Farriday isn’t feeling very jolly this season. Recently divorced and broke, she’s squatting in one of her rental agency’s properties until her new home is ready. The sprinkles on top of the burnt Christmas cookie that is her life? The new owner shows up early, forcing Tilly to hide in the attic to save her job…and what remains of her dignity.
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I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-31-24
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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Mr. and Mrs. Christmas
- By: Michelle Stimpson
- Narrated by: Marcella Cox, Ian Hackney
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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There's no place like home for the holidays ... especially for Lesley Carver. Life in the big city just wasn't her jam and now she's back in Hickory Falls, working at the family diner and helping her mom after she took a tumble. Lesley longs to build a life here, working at the cafe, selling her handmade ornaments and ... er, apparently reviving her high school crush on her best friend’s older brother. Only one problem, her mom wants her to leave Hickory Falls far behind.
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Loved the book!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-15-24
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Dead Med
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso, Scott Merriman
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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When Heather McKinley dreamed of becoming a doctor, she imagined curing sick kids and sporting pink stethoscopes. She never anticipated the sleepless nights, grueling exams, and endless labs. And she certainly never knew that her medical school earned the nickname Dead Med thanks to the tragic history of students overdosing on illegal drugs. But Heather would never consider doing anything like that. That is, until her longtime boyfriend dumps her, she finds herself failing anatomy, and her world starts to crumble.
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Hmm
- By Morgan Meaux on 08-22-24
By: Freida McFadden
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Dracula [Audible Edition]
- By: Bram Stoker
- Narrated by: Alan Cumming, Tim Curry, Simon Vance, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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The modern audience hasn't had a chance to truly appreciate the unknowing dread that readers would have felt when reading Bram Stoker's original 1897 manuscript. Most modern productions employ campiness or sound effects to try to bring back that gothic tension, but we've tried something different. By returning to Stoker's original storytelling structure - a series of letters and journal entries voiced by Jonathan Harker, Dr. Van Helsing, and other characters - with an all-star cast of narrators, we've sought to recapture its originally intended horror and power.
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IS THAT NOT SO?
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-05-15
By: Bram Stoker
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Brain Damage
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Megan Tusing
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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As Charly struggles to recover from her brain injury, she begins to realize that the events of that fateful night are trapped in the damaged right side of her brain. Now, she must put the jigsaw pieces together to discover the identity of the man who tried to kill her...before he finishes the job he started.
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Who Else Laughed, Cried, and Shuddered?
- By Jennifer Chichester on 09-16-22
By: Freida McFadden
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Say No More
- By: Caroline Overington
- Narrated by: Anna Skellern
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
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Who is Audrey Hoedemaker? It's a question her sister Maureen has heard more times than she can count, and she doesn't know what the short answer would be. Little sister, troubled teen, backpacker, musical theatre coach, con artist, childcare worker. Murderer. A tragic, traumatic childhood casts a long shadow on the Hoedemaker sisters. Maureen has worked hard to move beyond the violence of the past and build a good, honest life for herself. Audrey, however, just can't seem to do the same, careening from one state of chaos to another.
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Great Characterization
- By dovermoyer on 12-14-24
What listeners say about Mark Twain's Helpful Hints for Good Living
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Scott
- 04-10-14
A real hoot!
From now on, whenever the damned human race drives me crazy, this the book I'll be reaching for.
These here Mark Twain scholars have put together a delightful collection of anecdotes, stories, wit, and wisdom from the pen of the man himself. No one else could have written this stuff. It's funny, irreverent, insightful, and cantankerous. Real fun.
Plus, they got Grover Gardner to read it, and ya' can't do better than that.
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9 people found this helpful
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- E R COFFMAN
- 05-15-14
Entertaining Listen
Where does Mark Twain's Helpful Hints for Good Living rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
This collection of Mark Twain reflections is entertainment to have available to listen to while traveling or with friends. In this way it is quite different from the novels and non-fiction that I usually listen to.
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-22-18
A selection of Twain's writings
I enjoyed the narrator more than the selections from Twain's speeches and other writings. None of the pieces were from his celebrated fiction but they did all have his distinctive voice.
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- Marrman
- 05-18-19
It's more Twain. That's a good thing.
I got a good laugh from these selections...and wanted more. It's a quick listen and if you are already familiar with Twain then it's a no-brainer, as you know what you're getting. Indispensably quotable and just a good time. I wish I could put his words to my tongue and speak like him because his work is just as relevant and important in today's society just as it was then.
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- OliviaL
- 05-13-22
Anything Mark Twain
Anything Mark Twain writes is gold. This collection of snippets was thoroughly enjoyable. And I enjoyed the performance 👍
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- Tracie D Sayre
- 01-04-24
Pleasantly Surprised
Twain was a remarkable writer. Fantastic writing and humor! This was a quick and uplifting listen!
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- Dale Sarver
- 03-31-21
very entertaining
a great collection of Mark twain writings and observations. mark twain was a wonderful wordsmith and his description of events is very colorful.
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- MomTeacher
- 01-19-23
ignore the negative reviews
ignore the negative reviews - it was free and it was a good listen. the reader has an old timey voice which suits the context.
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- Anonymous User
- 06-27-23
Take a trip back in time
This is a great book that takes you back in time. and into the thoughts and mind of Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens. He had a very unique way of looking at the world and thinking about situations that he found himself in. This book definitely takes you on a trip throughout his mind and it does it so clearly that you can almost see everything as if you were looking at it through his own eyes. Great book of more than just his writings but into the man himself. Highly recommended!
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- Teaching Aloha
- 06-25-16
Classic humor
The reader was fantastic and you can't beat the timeless classic comedy of Mark Twain.
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2 people found this helpful