The Origins of You
How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love
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Narrated by:
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Vienna Pharaon
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By:
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Vienna Pharaon
About this listen
NATIONAL BESTSELLER
From licensed therapist and popular Instagram relationship expert Vienna Pharaon (@mindfulmft, +683K followers) comes a profound guide to understanding and overcoming wounds from your Family of Origin—the foundation of how we relate to others, ourselves, and the world around us.
None of us had a perfect childhood; we are all carrying around behaviors that don’t serve us—and may in fact be hurting us. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says licensed marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon. Our past might create our patterns, but we can change those patterns for the better...with the right tools.
In The Origins of You, Pharaon has unlocked a healing process to help us understand our Family of Origin—the family and framework we grew up within—and examine what worked (and didn’t) in that system. Unhealed pain (or “wounds”) in that Family of Origin will manifest in our adult behaviors in surprising ways, from work challenges to interpersonal struggles. But the good news: armed with the knowledge about our past, we can actually rewire our programming to meaningfully improve our relationships and our lives, right now and in the future.
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been in therapy for decades, or whether therapy isn’t for you. It doesn’t matter if you had a great childhood, or a terrible one. You can create change and resolve things from the past that need your attention. Complete with guided introspection, personal experiences, client stories, and frameworks for having difficult conversations to complement each chapter, The Origins of You will teach you how to break family patterns and help you liberate the way you live and love.
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Critic reviews
One of Amazon’s Best Books of the Month
One of Hollywood Reporter’s Best Gifts for Sparking Optimism
“The Origins of You offers us a promise: our family of origin, no matter how damaged it might have been, does not determine our destiny. With empathy and wisdom, Vienna Pharaon explains how our past creates our patterns—patterns we’re still living out today—and how we can shift those habits to create a new, healthier path for ourselves. Vienna's book is a gift.” —Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
“Change your behavior, change your life. Licensed therapist and relationship expert Vienna Pharaon wrote The Origins of You to help readers break unhealthy patterns of behavior in order to enjoy a better way of life. Each chapter includes worksheets for introspection, which will help you heal old wounds to create meaningful change in relationships with others as well as yourself.” —Hollywood Reporter
“[Pharaon] offers tools to communicate and set boundaries in relationships, and encourages readers to make changes to take control of their own relationship dynamics and move beyond their past trauma…She encourages readers to seek out therapy, while still offering them a starting place to understand their trauma and guide them through the work that they will need to do as they move forward…Will appeal to fans of Pharaon’s Instagram page and those seeking a self-help guide to help them navigate family patterns and take control of their love lives.” —Library Journal
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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The Good Fight
- Wanting to Leave, Choosing to Stay, and the Powerful Practice for Loving Faithfully
- By: Jana Kramer, Michael Caussin
- Narrated by: Jana Kramer, Michael Caussin
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Hosts of the award-winning Whine Down podcast, Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin explore the raw and real moments of their marriage - what it means to love, to fight, and to sincerely forgive - with spiritual guidance and practical advice for anyone seeking stronger, more fulfilling love.
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Could’ve been a short article and not a book
- By J Klay on 11-01-20
By: Jana Kramer, and others
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The Courage Habit
- How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life
- By: Kate Swoboda, Bari Tessler MA
- Narrated by: Kate Marcin
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In The Courage Habit, certified life coach Kate Swoboda offers freedom from the outdated belief that one must be fearless in order to live courageously. Instead, she defines courage as a willingness to act on what we want in spite of our fears and offers an evidence-based program to help readers conquer their inner critic, overcome worries, increase resilience, work toward their highest aspirations, and make courage a habit every day.
By: Kate Swoboda, and others
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Already Taken
- Transform Your Life With the Power of Authenticity
- By: Mike Robbins
- Narrated by: Mike Robbins
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
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Learn the power and importance of authenticity; move beyond the fear and limitations that stop you from living truly and bring more authenticity into your work, relationships, and life.Motivational Speaker, Mike Robbins' new audiobook, Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken will teach you the principles of authenticity, and give you the exercises and actions to transform your life.
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Worth Listening to
- By Rob Strait on 08-20-12
By: Mike Robbins
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The Good Karma Divorce
- Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life
- By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Narrated by: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
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The average divorce takes two years with a median cost of $30,000. Yet the true cost of divorce is more than time or money; it is the legacy of the decisions made during the process. No matter how long two people have been married, whether there are children or not, divorce often leads to bad choices that can forever alter a family's life. But what if you could reverse the stereotype and move regret-free through this process?
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Thanks for the great advice!
- By Tom Clemente on 11-09-16
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The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
- Helping Your Child Grow up Whole
- By: Lori Holden, Crystal Hass
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may feel intrusive at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of circumstances. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the child involved is paramount. This book offers listeners the tools and the insight to do just that.
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Who is talking?
- By Robert on 06-26-18
By: Lori Holden, and others
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Self-Therapy
- Transform Stuck Parts of Yourself into Inner Resources of Strength, Love, and Freedom
- By: Jay Earley PhD
- Narrated by: Jay Earley PhD
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
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Psychotherapy works through dialogue between the therapist and client—but what if you could have an effective healing dialogue with yourself? "Because our minds are actually a home to many sub-personalities," Dr. Jay Earley explains, "we have the ability to heal ourselves by engaging directly with the each of our parts." With Self-Therapy, Dr. Earley offers a complete audio training course in a revolutionary therapy called Internal Family Systems (IFS), a powerful psychological tool for finding freedom from chronic emotional issues such as depression and anxiety, and creating internal harmony where the aspects of your psyche are working together for your well-being.
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More than a book it is a transformational tool.
- By Néstor Etayo on 02-03-15
By: Jay Earley PhD
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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How to Be a Best Friend Forever
- Making and Keeping Lifetime Relationships
- By: Dr. John Townsend
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Our world has diluted the meaning of friendship, but the reality is, there’s nothing like the sustaining strength of true-blue, forever friends. Still, many people are convinced that they’ll never find such lifelong connections—or that they don’t need them. In this encouraging audio book, best-selling author and psychologist John Townsend delivers hope and help for making these relationships a reality—and for making them even better if you’ve already got a “bestie.”
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This is a Christian based book.
- By lisak227 on 11-17-14
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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Jump...and Your Life Will Appear
- An Inch-by-Inch Guide to Making a Major Change
- By: Nancy Levin
- Narrated by: Nancy Levin
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you ready to make changes in your life - but feel something is holding you back? Is your soul asking you to take a leap - but you’re too afraid to take it? Are you ready for something new - but aren’t sure where to start? If this sounds like you, this audiobook will give you the courage and faith you need to jump across the threshold from where you are - to where you want to be. Jump...and Your Life Will Appear is a step-by-step guide to clearing the path ahead so you can let go and make the change you need the most.
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Inspiring and motivating!
- By Debra Goro on 08-06-18
By: Nancy Levin
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How Am I Doing?
- 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself
- By: Dr. Corey Yeager, Cade Cunningham - foreword
- Narrated by: Corey Yeager, Cade Cunningham
- Length: 4 hrs and 11 mins
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Every strong relationship is rooted in good conversation, and that's true for your relationship with yourself, too. In How Am I Doing?, Dr. Corey Yeager guides you through a series of reflective questions to help you gain the self-compassion, personal awareness, and healing you seek. So let's check in: How are you doing?
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Great book!
- By Wink on 11-13-22
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
By: Kristin Neff
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Meh.
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The Emotionally Absent Mother
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Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering.
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Good book but not the audio version
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Real self-care is an internal, self-reflective process that involves making difficult decisions in line with our values, and when we practice it, we shift our relationships, our workplaces, and even our broken systems. Using case studies from her practice, clinical research, and the down-to-earth style that she's become known for, Pooja Lakshmin provides a step-by-step program for real and sustainable change. Real Self-Care is a complete roadmap for women to set boundaries, move past guilt, treat themselves with compassion, get closer to themselves, and assert their power.
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Important topic but flawed insofar as it claims to want to reach a general audience
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What listeners say about The Origins of You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- melmel
- 01-14-24
Wow, that was good
This is one of the best self reflective books. I learned so much and came out with a broad understanding of my relationships with family and friends. Thank you I’m forever changed.
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- shayla
- 10-06-23
So good for those of us on a healing journey!
This is a must for anyone who is trying to grow and heal. I think I’m going to buy the paper copy to go back and highlight things I want to remember!
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- Anonymous User
- 06-18-23
Powerful
This book definitely was unique in the space of psychotherapy and psychology. I gained a lot from it and hope more people will take the deep dive even though it may feel uncomfortable or hard , it’s work that’s worthwhile ! Great read
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-28-23
The best self discovery book ever written
Wow, just wow. I have consumed a fair amount of self help books but this is hands down the best one. Pharaon’s ability to make this approachable is remarkable. Standing ovation.
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- Jeremy Murray
- 04-18-24
10/10 recommend for every human
This book provides a blueprint to get to the deep dark places within us and how to heal them
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- Kyoko Heslinga
- 11-09-23
Amazing
Highly recommend for anyone seeking introspection. I will be gifting this to my close friends who are curious about their lives and want a deeper relationship with themselves and others.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-23-23
Brilliantly healing
My daughter, Christina recommended this book to me, now I understand why. I recommend it to every mother and daughter who are looking for a new path forward.
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- Jeri
- 12-12-23
Relatability and Soothing
Wow, I feel so grateful to have discovered this book. I was having a pretty bad argument with my dad and my sister suggested reading this. I came to find, I am my father’s daughter and I portray a lot of his character defects. I never realized I had a worthiness wound that runs so deep into my childhood and has affected my relationships with men and my finances. Ouufff! I will be listening to this book again to instill the boundaries, conflict resolution and communication in my behavior patterns. It clicks, but I need to stick! This is actually explained in the book in some of the sessions and she walks through how to move forward. Thank you for writing this, I think you just changed my relationship and financial success story for good as it will be hard to ignore the hard truths I’ve learned about myself.
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-17-23
Great contribution for all!
Great book. It is well laid out and written, Provides useful framework to understand the origins of our reactive behavior and how to address them to live a fuller, healthier, and more connected life.
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- JB
- 02-18-24
Such a Gift
I listened to this book in one day. It was so well organized, very smart and sensitive. Beautifully done as well as delivered. A must listen for anyone on a healing journey. Congratulations Vienna!
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