There Are No Grown-Ups
A Midlife Coming-of-Age Story
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Narrated by:
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Pamela Druckerman
About this listen
The best-selling author of Bringing Up Bébé investigates life in her 40s, and wonders whether her mind will ever catch up with her face.
When Pamela Druckerman turns 40, waiters start calling her "Madame", and she detects a disturbing new message in mens' gazes: I would sleep with her, but only if doing so required no effort whatsoever.
Yet 40 isn't even technically middle-aged anymore. And after a lifetime of being clueless, Druckerman can finally grasp the subtext of conversations, maintain (somewhat) healthy relationships and spot narcissists before they ruin her life. What are the modern 40s, and what do we know once we reach them? What makes someone a "grown-up" anyway? And why didn't anyone warn us that we'd get cellulite on our arms? Part frank memoir, part hilarious investigation of daily life, There Are No Grown-Ups diagnoses the in-between decade when...
- Everyone you meet looks a little bit familiar.
- You're matter-of-fact about chin hair.
- You can no longer wear anything ironically.
- There's at least one sport your doctor forbids you to play.
- You become impatient while scrolling down to your year of birth.
- Your parents have stopped trying to change you.
- You don't want to be with the cool people anymore; you want to be with your people.
- You realize that everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently.
- You know that it's OK if you don't like jazz.
Internationally best-selling author and New York Times contributor Pamela Druckerman leads us on a quest for wisdom, self-knowledge, and the right pair of pants. A witty dispatch from the front lines of the 40s, There Are No Grown-ups is a (midlife) coming-of-age story, and an audiobook for anyone trying to find their place in the world.
©2018 Pamela Druckerman (P)2018 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“There has been remarkably little good writing about this thorny topic but here, with excellent timing, comes Pamela Druckerman’s pitch-perfect and brutally frank There Are No Grown-Ups. . . . She has a reckless candor that can make you laugh and gasp at the same time. . . . As Nora Ephron said, 'Everything is copy.' For those of us who regard I Feel Bad About My Neck as a bible for the midlife woman, Ephron is simply irreplaceable, but Druckerman is the heir to her impish, unembarrassable spirit and adorable storytelling.� (The New York Times Book Review)
“Essayist Druckerman is both droll and wise on facing the inevitability (and occasional upsides!) of aging.� (People)
“The decline of being middle-aged is probed with humor (chapter 7: How to Plan a Ménage à Trois), honesty (chapter 10: How to Have a Midlife Crisis) and heart (chapter 8: How to be Mortal).� (Family Circle Magazine)
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Pamela Paul has kept a single book by her side for 28 years - carried throughout high school and college, hauled from Paris to London to Thailand, from job to job, safely packed away and then carefully removed from apartment to house to its current perch on a shelf over her desk - reliable if frayed, anonymous-looking yet deeply personal. This book has a name: Bob. Bob is Paul's Book of Books, a journal that records every book she's ever read.
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An uncanny mirror and a celebration of book love
- By Cherilyn Parsons on 07-28-19
By: Pamela Paul
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Flesh Wounds
- By: Richard Glover
- Narrated by: Richard Glover
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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A mother who invented her past, a father who was often absent, a son who wondered if this could really be his family...Richard Glover's favourite dinner-party game is called 'Who's Got the Weirdest Parents?' It's a game he always thinks he'll win. There was his mother, a deluded snob who made up large swathes of her past and who ran away with Richard's English teacher, a Tolkien devotee, nudist and stuffed toy collector.
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Such a Meaningful Reflection
- By Awarenessing on 11-28-15
By: Richard Glover
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The Secrets of Happy Families
- Surprising New Ideas to Bring More Togetherness, Less Chaos, and Greater Joy
- By: Bruce Feiler
- Narrated by: Bruce Feiler
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.
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Well worth reading, even if you can't do it all!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-13
By: Bruce Feiler
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Laughing Without an Accent
- Adventures of an Iranian American, at Home and Abroad
- By: Firoozeh Dumas
- Narrated by: Firoozeh Dumas
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In the best-selling memoir Funny in Farsi, Firoozeh Dumas recounted her adventures growing up Iranian American in Southern California. Now she again mines her rich Persian heritage in Laughing Without an Accent, sharing stories both tender and humorous on being a citizen of the world, on her well-meaning family, and on amusing cultural conundrums, all told with insights into the universality of the human condition. (Hint: It may have to do with brushing and flossing daily.)
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Sigh
- By Sara on 01-29-14
By: Firoozeh Dumas
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Americanized
- Rebel Without a Green Card
- By: Sara Saedi
- Narrated by: Lameece Issaq
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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At 13, bright-eyed straight-A student Sara Saedi uncovered a terrible family secret: She was breaking the law simply by living in the United States. Only two years old when her parents fled Iran, she didn't learn of her undocumented status until her older sister wanted to apply for an after-school job but couldn't because she didn't have a Social Security number. Fear of deportation kept Sara up at night, but it didn't keep her from being a teenager.
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Corny Cheesy
- By Mina00 on 09-06-18
By: Sara Saedi
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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Wait, What?
- And Life's Other Essential Questions
- By: James E. Ryan
- Narrated by: James E. Ryan
- Length: 2 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In his commencement address to the graduating class of 2016, James E. Ryan, dean of the Harvard University Graduate School of Education, offered remarkable advice to the crowd of hopeful men and women eager to make their marks on the world. The key to achieving emotional connections and social progress, he told them, can be found in five essential questions.
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Great For Our Jobs, Our Families, Our Lives!
- By Gillian on 05-18-18
By: James E. Ryan
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And So It Goes
- Kurt Vonnegut: A Life
- By: Charles J. Shields
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 17 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author and biographer Charles J. Shields crafts this fascinating portrait of literary icon Kurt Vonnegut. The first authorized biography of the influential American writer, And So It Goes examines Vonnegut’s life, from his childhood to his death in 2007, and explores how the author changed the conversation of American literature.
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Probably only for die hard Vonnegut fans
- By Watery M on 12-22-12
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City Boy
- My Life in New York During the 1960s and '70s
- By: Edmund White
- Narrated by: Robert Blumenfeld
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In the New York of the 1970s, in the wake of Stonewall and in the midst of economic collapse, you might find the likes of Jasper Johns and William Burroughs at the next cocktail party, and you were as likely to be caught arguing Marx at the New York City Ballet as cruising for sex in the warehouses and parked trucks along the Hudson. This is the New York that Edmund White portrays in City Boy: a place of enormous intrigue and artistic tumult.
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Pretense upon pretense.
- By Shalin Desai on 06-01-15
By: Edmund White
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Modern Loss
- Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome.
- By: Rebecca Soffer, Gabrielle Birkner
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it's clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let's face it: Most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We're awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.
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Not What I Was Expecting
- By Bessie Mae on 03-01-23
By: Rebecca Soffer, and others
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Normal Gets You Nowhere
- By: Kelly Cutrone
- Narrated by: Kelly Cutrone
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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With Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone invites us to get our freak on. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in. Think Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, John Lennon, and Rosa Parks. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people hung a light on their differences - and changed humanity in the process. “I know you don’t feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?� Cutrone says.
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For open minds and hearts.
- By Kelly on 01-06-12
By: Kelly Cutrone
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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Have a New You by Friday
- How to Accept Yourself, Boost Your Confidence & Change Your Life in 5 Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Wayne Shepherd
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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How many times have you tried to change your own habits, only to find that changing yourself is even harder than trying to change someone else? With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, Dr. Kevin Leman walks you through your own personal five-day action plan. You will come to accept the truth about yourself, boost your confidence by identifying the lies you’re telling yourself (and putting them to rest for good), and change your life by concentrating on becoming who you really want to be.
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Wrong title?
- By Marianne on 03-25-11
By: Kevin Leman
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Excellent Daughters
- The Secret Lives of Young Women Who Are Transforming the Arab World
- By: Katherine Zoepf
- Narrated by: Katherine Zoepf
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than a decade, Katherine Zoepf has lived in or traveled throughout the Arab world, reporting on the lives of women, whose role in the region has never been more in flux. Only a generation ago, female adolescence as we know it in the West did not exist in the Middle East. There were only children and married women. Today, young Arab women outnumber men in universities, and a few are beginning to face down religious and social tradition in order to live independently, to delay marriage, and to pursue professional goals.
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Best book on Middle East written this decade
- By Zuzana B on 07-02-17
By: Katherine Zoepf
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Things I've Been Silent About
- By: Azar Nafisi
- Narrated by: Naila Azad
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Azar Nafisi, author of the beloved international best seller Reading Lolita in Tehran, now gives us a stunning personal story of growing up in Iran, memories of her life lived in thrall to a powerful and complex mother, against the background of a country's political revolution.
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Family portrait in the frame of history
- By Galina COS on 07-02-16
By: Azar Nafisi
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What listeners say about There Are No Grown-Ups
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- Jill N
- 07-04-24
A Really Enjoyable Read!
This is a very fun and easy read. A heartwarming reflection from one of my favorite authors. I love her style and view on life.
-Jill
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- Isabelle Fontes
- 10-12-19
Fan on the writer. Another great book.
Since her last book I became a fan of Pamela Druckerman. (btw her “bringing up bebe” is a must read/listen!).
I was not sure I was enjoying the voice style they chosen, but then it did grow on me, (I often stop listening audiobooks bcse of voice actors choices) After a few chapters I actually enjoyed her reading, (then I found out that the writer was reading it).
It’s a great book, the plot is fun, real, actual and it’s a treat when she mixes french with english.
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- Charnissa Hastye
- 04-02-20
Enjoyable but....
I have always like everything about French culture. The food, the mannerisms, and diffently the style of French women. Growing up in Germany, European life became my foundation. This shows in the way I dress and my mannerisms. As a black woman I am aware of the stereotypes that are out there about us. Not ALL black women "let themselves go" after a certain age although it does appear that way in general. It's all dependent upon what you are exposed to, no matter your race. Same is true for white women...not all " keep themselves up" after a certain age. All in all, really enjoyed this book. Good insight.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Annette R Rexroad
- 06-07-18
Totally relatable!
This is just the book I needed as I approach another birthday in my late-40s. This is the first book I’ve read by Pamela Druckerman and it will not be the last! Though I didn’t relate to every scenario that she has experienced in her 40s, I totally appreciated her honesty & wittiness when maneuvering through life’s events as a 40 year old expat mother of three. Overall, I enjoyed her writing style and her narration was easy-going & made for a quick listen. Kudos to Madame Druckerman for acknowledging & accepting her own true story as good enough; a very grown up thing to do.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Lauren
- 04-27-20
I Can’t Wait to Read More From This Author
This self assessing book is the perfect balance of light, honest, encouraging, funny, and feminine. Her tale of ever growing and learning is helpful and inspiring. I greatly look forward to reading and listening to more of Pamela Druckerman’s books.
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- MsCheySkye
- 10-05-18
I highly identified with most parts of this book.
I liked the insight into our culture specific approaches to life and relationship. I felt comradery with the author on many points. I did not relate to her view on her marriage or bodily appearance, but that also comforted me in a sense. Thank you!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Olivia Hill
- 11-27-23
Great Storyteller
I will read anything Druckerman writes, even when I have seemingly zero personal application. This book was captivating and informative!
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- TheDan
- 12-20-18
Mediocre
Mediocre, some interesting stories. May be worth reading for some but I struggled through it trying to stay awake.
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- Claire
- 01-10-23
Honest and entertaining
Great follow up to other book. Sometimes the hard truth can make you laugh out aloud, grimace or cry. Pamela brings the truth to her experience of navigating in her 40’s both as an American and one living in France. This book was enjoyable and I recommend it.
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- Reagan
- 04-05-24
Surprisingly funny!
Really enjoyed this from start to finish. Made me feel more “normal”? Haha a very well thought out and researched book.
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