Why We Love
The New Science Behind Our Closest Relationships
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Narrated by:
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Sophie Bentinck
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By:
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Dr. Anna Machin
About this listen
An Oxford evolutionary anthropologist explores the ever-elusive science of love.
What can the social and life sciences tell us about the most fundamental and unquantifiable human experience - love? Anna Manchin is interested in the the the most inclusive possible answer, one that, unlike previous books on the subject, considers friendship and family on par with romantic love, as well as polyamory, chosen families, queer love, and touchingly, the love we feel for pets, celebrities, and deities.
Anna delves into these intimate relationships from the levels of biology, chemistry, and neuroscience all the way up to psychology, sociology, and evolution, in engaging, accessible, and ever-charming prose.
But Anna doesn’t shy away from love’s darker consequences - its addictive nature which can lead us towards, or leave us susceptible to, manipulation, coercion, and even violence. And yet, in the end, her book is an argument for love. Growing evidence shows that the nature and quality of our relationships is the most significant factor in our life satisfaction, happiness, physical and mental health - more important than quitting smoking or losing weight. Love is the center of what makes us human. It is, by nature, inefficient - and in our ever-busier world, it can tend to be shunted to the side. Anna’s goal, therefore, is to expand our understanding and reinvigorate our awe at the complexities and intricacies of the human heart.
Building on the great tradition of writers like Esther Perel, Alain de Botton, Erich Fromm, Stan Tatkin, Sue Johnson, and Helen Fisher, Anna’s depth of research and wells of empathy bring us many leaps forward in the eternal project of understanding ourselves.
©2022 Anna Machin (P)2022 Orion Publishing Group Ltd.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Anna Machin offers a lively guide to the many kinds of human love that exist, and the biology and psychology that explain why we love the way we do.” ― Frans de Waal, NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author of "Mama's Last Hug"
“This book opens the Pandora's Box on this most complex and puzzling aspect of what it is to be human.” ― Robin Dunbar, author of "Friends"
"Love sits at the center of human existence, according to this sharp survey from anthropologist Machin. Machin draws from plenty of studies of both the human and animal worlds, and her personal interjections are energizing: 'Human love is awe-inspiring. I believe it defines our humanity.' This provocative account is a fitting tribute to its subject." ― Publishers Weekly
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Story
John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
By: John Bradshaw
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Curious?
- By: Todd Kashdan
- Narrated by: Todd Kashdan
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Abridged
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Dead cats. That's the image many people conjure up when you mention curiosity. An image perpetuated by a dusty old proverb that has long represented the extent of our understanding of the term. This book might not put the proverb to rest, but it will flip it upside down: far from killing anything, curiosity breathes new life into almost everything it touches.
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Transformative & Engaging
- By Hans on 04-29-09
By: Todd Kashdan
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Blueprint
- The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society
- By: Nicholas A. Christakis
- Narrated by: Nicholas A. Christakis
- Length: 14 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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For too long, scientists have focused on the dark side of our biological heritage: our capacity for aggression, cruelty, prejudice, and self-interest. But natural selection has given us a suite of beneficial social features, including our capacity for love, friendship, cooperation, and learning. Beneath all our inventions - our tools, farms, machines, cities, nations - we carry with us innate proclivities to make a good society.
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Many interesting thoughts
- By Jonas Blomberg Ghini on 06-01-19
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The Transgender Teen
- A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens
- By: Stephanie A. Brill, Lisa Kenney
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Is it just a phase, a fad, or a real issue with your teen? This comprehensive guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising a teenager who may be transgender, gender-variant, or gender-fluid. Covering extensive research and with many personal interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the author covers pressing concerns relating to physical and emotional development, social and school pressures, medical options, and family communications.
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Good information at its core
- By Jeff on 05-22-19
By: Stephanie A. Brill, and others
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The Molecule of More
- How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity - And Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race
- By: Daniel Z. Lieberman MD, Michael E. Long
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity—and will Determine the Fate of the Human Race, George Washington University professor and psychiatrist Daniel Z. Lieberman, MD, and Georgetown University lecturer Michael E. Long present a potentially life-changing proposal: Much of human life has an unconsidered component that explains an array of behaviors previously thought to be unrelated, including why winners cheat, why geniuses often suffer with mental illness, why nearly all diets fail, and more.
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Did you know conservatives have more orgasms?
- By Josh on 10-21-20
By: Daniel Z. Lieberman MD, and others
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Cool
- How the Brain's Hidden Quest for Cool Drives Our Economy and Shapes Our World
- By: Steven Quartz, Anette Asp
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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In Cool, the neuroscientist and philosopher Steven Quartz and the political scientist Anette Asp bring together the latest findings in brain science, economics, and evolutionary biology to form a provocative theory of consumerism, revealing how the brain's "social calculator" and an instinct to rebel are the crucial missing links in understanding the motivations behind our spending habits.
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Some Useful Ideas
- By Carson on 07-20-17
By: Steven Quartz, and others
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Suspicious Minds
- How Culture Shapes Madness
- By: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Narrated by: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Mr. A. was admitted to Dr. Joel Gold’s inpatient unit at Bellevue Hospital in 2002. He was, he said, being filmed constantly, and his life was being broadcast around the world "like The Truman Show" - the 1998 film depicting a man who is unknowingly living out his life as the star of a popular soap opera. Over the next few years, Gold saw a number of patients suffering from what he and his brother, Dr. Ian Gold, began calling the "Truman Show Delusion," launching them on a quest to understand the nature of this particular phenomenon and the nature of madness itself.
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Intriguing
- By L. K. on 04-18-16
By: Joel Gold, and others
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The Longevity Project
- Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study
- By: Howard S. Friedman, Leslie R. Martin
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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For years we have been told to make lists and obsessively monitor when we’re angry, what we eat, how much we worry, and how often we go to the gym. So why isn’t everyone healthy? Now based on the most extensive study of long life ever conducted The Longevity Project reveals what really matters across the long run—the personality traits, relationships, experiences, and career paths that naturally keep you vital.
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Good info to know about
- By Thomas on 11-10-11
By: Howard S. Friedman, and others
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Before You Know It
- The Unconscious Reasons We Do What We Do
- By: John Bargh PhD
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than three decades, Dr. John Bargh has been responsible for the revolutionary research into the unconscious mind, research that informed best sellers like Blink and Thinking Fast and Slow. Now, in what Dr. John Gottman said "will be the most important and exciting book in psychology that has been written in the past 20 years", Dr. Bargh takes us on an entertaining and enlightening tour of the forces that affect everyday behavior while transforming our understanding of ourselves in profound ways.
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Political jab
- By Brad on 10-20-17
By: John Bargh PhD
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Emotional Intelligence
- By: Daniel Goleman
- Narrated by: Barrett Whitener
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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It is the tenth anniversary since the first publication of Daniel Goleman's groundbreaking bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, which maps the territory where IQ meets EQ, where we apply what we know to how we live. Spending over a year on the New York Times bestseller list, Emotional Intelligence provided the evidence for what many successful people already knew: being smart isn't just a matter of mastering facts; it's a matter of mastering your own emotions and understanding the emotions of the people around you.
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Good info, hard to listen sometimes
- By Stephanie on 04-16-03
By: Daniel Goleman
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The Marshmallow Test
- Mastering Self-Control
- By: Walter Mischel
- Narrated by: Alan Alda
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Marshmallow Test, Mischel explains how self-control can be mastered and applied to challenges in everyday life - from weight control to quitting smoking, overcoming heartbreak, making major decisions, and planning for retirement. With profound implications for the choices we make in parenting, education, public policy and self-care, The Marshmallow Test will change the way you think about who we are and what we can be.
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Great performance, but lacking in content
- By Hilary - San Francisco on 09-27-14
By: Walter Mischel
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The Mind Club
- Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters
- By: Daniel M. Wegner, Kurt Gray
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Nothing seems more real than the minds of other people. When you consider what your boss is thinking or whether your spouse is happy, you are admitting them into the "mind club". It's easy to assume other humans can think and feel, but what about a cow, a computer, a corporation? What kinds of minds do they have? Daniel M. Wegner and Kurt Gray are award-winning psychologists who have discovered that minds - while incredibly important - are a matter of perception.
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Who is the self in me? Am I part of something bigger?
- By Philomath on 03-24-16
By: Daniel M. Wegner, and others
What listeners say about Why We Love
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 12-28-22
fascinating!
there are some sections that probably translate better as a book (listening to gene pairings was lost on me in this format) but this is an incredibly interesting book about the scientific imperative of all types of love (and their pitfalls!)
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