One-Star Horror Movies II

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SLOWLY yet most surely, it manages to droll through a vague and desperate 'I'll bet you forgot Rosemary's Baby' storyline that culminates in the rebirth of some silly demon king that is made complete only after he receives a proper Jughead-styled crown.

What were the kids doing the rest of the summer as they started seeing the clown as soon as school was out? Were they just having terrifying hallucinations of a killer clown and then enjoying the rest of their summer at the beach before going out and hunting it down?

His friend wasn't even a police officer, he worked in an airport.

Wait for it..... there's a bunny, there's a goat, there's even a hot chick in a cabin in the woods, but sadly there no Witch.

Later on in the movie after Disaster Dad and Family have gotten the 5-year old killed, Disaster Mom and Dad decides to bring another newborn into the world... we never see this scene but it might have worked with a John Cleese cameo: 'No sound, please. We're British.'

the whole [movie title] series has one message. If you can save someone's life, don't bother.

What was the purpose of the big guy with the pyramidal hat and big knife?

They never explain, or even bother trying to find out where it came from or why it just wants to sex people to death.

studio executive 1-'What was the plot again?!?'
studio executive 2-'Ah, darn I forgot! Let's just add another gratuitous skinless body!'
1-'Oh,and why is the pin guy mad?'
2-'um.......He has pins in his face!'

It's hard to believe a smart writer can't cook. Who cannot cook this days? Well in a movie I mean. There is a guy stalking a mute girl in a house in a middle of the forest. Clichés, clichés and more clichés.

i still think the entire budget of the movie went to beer and pizza. and twigs and rocks.

at the end of the movie, I am not sure if anyone caught this but there was a giant quote telling people to worship God and fear the Devil. Not to mention the convenience that you cannot move out of a haunted house, you need a priest to bless it.

These blind, deaf, senseless and fragile cave creatures were also supposed to be able to sneak out at night to kill moose and cattle. How did they do that then? How did they know it was night? How come nobody saw them? Why bother going back into the cave?

Since when does possessing the gift of telekinesis also include allowing that person the ability to fly?.... Sheesh! Like, give me a break already!

Harry Potter does a great job in his first break out role but the story just comes up short with minimal scares and a crawling pace.

a) you know that he will survive in the end b) you know that he cannot escape before the 100 minutes are up because then the movie would end too soon. Hence the equation: a + b = dull, predictable garbage Furthermore: a + b + frantic overacting + idiotic plot-twists + bad casting = typical Stephenokingsian junk

If I was lit on fire, I wouldn't get up. I would just lay there, because I would be in an a$$-load of pain. IT WAS A DOLL. A DOLL THAT COULD FEEL PAIN. HELL, GIVE ME A LIGHTER AND SOME GAS, I'LL KILL THE LITTLE B*****D!

It is 'Blair Witch Goes Suburban,' where café lattes, wine, a flat screen TV and plush furniture replace roughing it by camping in the Maryland woods.

90% of the film is just pointless underwater footage of people scuba diving [...] The scenes go no where and last several minutes. They also seem to be quite common.

It's just a string of murders and mayhem committed by the b***h girl, and then everyone says 'how can it be her? She's from Russia!' and the same thing just goes on and on for 2 hours!