Chestfeeding Research Published!

My team's research article about transmasculine individuals' experiences of lactation, chestfeeding, and gender identity has been published!!! It's open access. Please share widely!

In this University of Ottawa study, funded by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, I interviewed 22 transmasculine individuals.

Here’s a quick overview of what’s new and exciting about this paper:

1)     Discussion of pregnancy and chestfeeding after top surgery. Out of 22 participants, 9 had chest surgery before they became pregnant. They experienced different amounts of mammary growth during pregnancy. Some chose to chestfeed and others didn’t. This is the first paper to discuss experiences of chestfeeding after chest surgery!

2)     The paper includes the first academic reference to a transmasculine individual binding during the lactation period, and taking testosterone during the lactation period. As the paper states, the participant reported that his child had normal testosterone levels, i.e., it appears that the child was not exposed to any effects of testosterone through the milk. Also, the participant reported that there seemed to be no decrease in his milk supply. Binding and taking testosterone allowed the participant to chestfeed for longer because these actions helped mitigate his gender dysphoria.

3)     Zero of the participants’ surgeons discussed the potential for future chestfeeding before performing top surgery. Equally important, participants reported that they didn’t feel comfortable bringing the topic up, either. They cited their surgeons’ strong and obvious belief in the gender binary and the feeling that they needed to tell the right story in order to access chest surgery.

4)     Changes in secondary sex characteristics during pregnancy. References in the academic and medical literature state that a low-pitched voice and facial hair are permanent results of taking testosterone. However, in this paper, we report the experience of one participant who found that when he stopped taking testosterone and became pregnant, his facial hair literally fell out and his voice became higher in pitch. 

5)     Experiences of gender dysphoria. As you might expect, some study participants reported experiencing gender dysphoria when chestfeeding. Some of them stopped chestfeeding due to gender dysphoria. However, others did not gender the process of feeding their babies from their chests at all. Nine of 16 participants who initiated chestfeeding reported experiencing no gender dysphoria while chestfeeding. Three of them didn’t experience gender dysphoria during chestfeeding but they DID experience it after they weaned their babies. The usefulness of chestfeeding in terms of nutrition and bonding was cited frequently as a reason for doing it. 

6)     Unexpected and unwanted lactation. Several participants who had had chest surgery and chose not to chestfeed their babies experienced problems with milk coming in. One had early symptoms of mastitis. Both the participants and their health care providers were unprepared. 

7)     How gender dysphoria can be triggered by health professionals. We tend to think of gender dysphoria as something that a trans person experiences because of their body. In this study, we found dysphoria could be triggered, in a person who otherwise was not experiencing it, by the way they are treated by others. From the paper: “care providers and others are capable of causing gender dysphoria in a patient by misgendering them. Conversely, care providers can affirm a patient’s gender identity through appropriate language, respectful touch, and other intentional actions, and thus alleviate distress associated with gender dysphoria.” In other words, the act of chestfeeding itself might not cause gender dysphoria for a transgender guy, but a health care provider talking about putting baby to “mom’s breast” might do so. 

8)     Using donor milk. Seven of the 22 participants said they used or intended to use donor milk, and one donated milk to others. 

9)     The language. This study was trans led, and the language used throughout the paper is appropriate for our community. We didn’t say in this paper, “some trans men use this word chestfeeding” and then ourselves use breastfeeding or nursing after that when we wrote in our own words. We used chestfeeding throughout the paper, as THE word. Why? Some trans guys are okay with “breastfeeding,” but some are very triggered by it. We didn’t think any trans guys would be triggered by “chestfeeding,” so we decided to use that term throughout.

What a way to celebrate the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia!

With so much thanks to the study participants who made this possible, and my research team members Joy Noel-Weiss, Diana West, Michelle Walks, MaryLynne Biener, Alanna Kibbe, and Elizabeth Myler. Big thank you as well to Karleen Gribble for her detailed comments in the open peer review process!

Questions Not to Ask a Pregnant Transgender Person*

* Or any pregnant person whose gender identity you are not absolutely 100% certain about, so really, ANY pregnant person.

I came out as a transgender guy and transitioned by changing my legal name, taking testosterone, and having top surgery. Friends and colleagues were generally awesome with that, and highly supportive. Virtually everyone I knew used male pronouns for me as I asked them to, and many made special efforts to help me feel accepted.

A few years later, I stopped taking testosterone and became pregnant, and my allies’ world was turned upside down. These are real questions that real people asked me. Let me explain why they are damaging, and what would be better. 

1.    Have you had surgery “down there”?

This one is a sign that somebody hasn’t thought things through, and I think it comes from the assumption that all transgender people want to transition “all the way.” Transition for a female-to-male individual must involve hysterectomy, right? Wrong! We transition in a variety of ways, to whatever degree makes us comfortable (or that we can afford). For some trans people, transition is not linear, either. You really don’t need to know whether your pregnant trans friend has had or desires any other kind of bottom surgery, such as clitoral release, urethral lengthening, or phalloplasty. Read about those procedures by Googling to your heart’s content.

2.    Are you going to keep the baby?

The person asking wants to know if the pregnancy was planned. Just like the rest of the population, some transgender people who become pregnant didn’t intend to have babies, but that’s not the case for all of us. The unpleasant implication behind the question is that a transgender person shouldn’t want to have (or shouldn’t have) a baby. A much better question would be “How are you feeling?” Your pregnant trans friend will disclose as much as they are comfortable with and might indicate how you can help.

3.    How do you know this is safe?

A lot of people assumed that because I had a beard and a low voice, I was still taking testosterone despite being pregnant. People asked me this as though I had never considered the issue before. To me, the question suggested that I was ignorant or didn’t care about my baby, or both. Even health care providers asked repeatedly if I was taking testosterone, seemingly not believing my answer.

Before trying to get pregnant, I talked to my endocrinologist (hormone doctor) and family doctor about any risks they could foresee. My endocrinologist advised me to stop taking testosterone and wait until my menstrual cycles became regular. He said that, in the form I was taking it, testosterone leaves the tissues quite quickly, typically within about ten days. He told me that my eggs should not be affected by my previous testosterone use. My family doctor just shrugged and reminded me to take folic acid!

If you have a transgender friend or acquaintance who is pregnant, you don’t need to ask this. If you’re a health care provider, knowing whether or not your patient is still taking testosterone is important. You also need to realize that for some of us at least, a beard doesn’t disappear when testosterone use is halted.

4.    Did you enjoy the process of making your baby?

This is just another way of asking a transgender person how they have sex. It’s weird and awkward. And for folks who don’t have simple access to sperm in their relationship, conceiving a baby might be separate from making love anyway.

5.    But what about breastfeeding?

I think breastfeeding is awesome, and I have been breastfeeding my kids for five years straight – but having a baby doesn’t hinge on it. I was asked about breastfeeding when I was pregnant, as if not being able to breastfeed should make me reconsider my pregnancy. The question itself put an immense amount of pressure on me. It turned out that I am able to make a small amount of milk despite having had chest surgery, and I deeply value my breastfeeding relationship with my child. However, lots of people, transgender or not, choose not to breastfeed, and that is their choice.

For friends and health care providers alike, a more open-ended question would be better, such as “how do you plan to feed your baby?” If you are lactating and interested in helping, you could ask if your transgender friend might wish to accept donated milk. 

6.    Do you know the baby’s gender?

During my pregnancies, people asked me this obsessively. I always thought to myself, do you know who you’re asking? Identifying a baby as male or female based on its genitalia has to do with its sex, not its gender. Furthermore, I never cared during my pregnancies about what my babies’ genitals might look like. I wondered if they would be healthy, happy, sleepy, curious, affectionate, serious, light-hearted, optimistic or any number of other characteristics before I thought about whether they had a penis or vulva. A better question to ask would be whether your friend has felt their baby move yet or heard the heartbeat – both are indescribably beautiful and intimate ways to connect with the being growing inside the belly.

Finally, I want to mention that a few friends have come out to me as transgender or genderqueer during or after their pregnancies. Friends, family, and health care providers interacting with a pregnant person might be unaware of that person’s gender identity. Be careful about the assumptions contained in your questions no matter who you’re talking to.

The End of Donor Milk

Yesterday, Jacob turned 18 months old, and tonight I thawed our last remaining bag of donated human milk. About two weeks ago, we saw that the end was near and started mixing donor milk about half and half with cow's milk. So far, Jacob has tolerated this reasonably well. We'll continue to give him donor milk when we can find it and families with younger babies don't want it, but at the moment, our freezers are storing nothing but the summer's vegetables.

I can hardly believe that we did this for 18 months. Jacob took about 25 ounces of supplement a day for much of that time, adding up to nearly 14 000 ounces of donor milk in total. We never needed formula. Some donors gave us a few two-ounce bags, while others filled our deep freezer. We are deeply grateful for every drop of it.

When Jacob was four days old, and we began supplementing, we wanted to make it to just one week on only human milk. We knew that even this would make a difference to his rapidly developing gastrointestinal tract. When we got to one week using human milk, we wondered if perhaps we could find donations for him for one month. Then two months. Then three. Six (plus solid foods). One year?! 16 months?!!! Yes. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding to two years of age and beyond, remember?

Finally, in the last few weeks, Jacob's first set of molars finished coming in and he has been starting to chew food with considerably more ease. I guess it's time. He's ready to start munching solid foods as a large part of his diet!

I suddenly had the thought as I thawed this last bag, "Tomorrow will be Jacob's first day having only cow's milk and no human milk." Then I realized what an incredible disservice that notion is to myself. I have been breastfeeding, and producing breast milk for my boy, for the past 18 months. The donor milk is what I see all the time. I collect it, store it, thaw it, pour it into bottles, and Jacob sucks it up the at-breast supplementer. It's easy to feel as if I make nothing for him.

I don't know how much I actually produce considering how much supplement Jacob takes, but I can still spray milk when I hand express. Perhaps this amounts to a few ounces per day. Eventually this evening it dawned on me: Jacob will keep getting human milk as long as I keep breastfeeding him. I'm really doing it.

Camping With Donor Milk, Wild Animals, and Northern Lights

We just came back from a gorgeous camping trip in Nopiming Provincial Park, and yes, we managed to use donor milk the entire time. On previous trips, we simply brought along our portable freezer – don't laugh! We ARE Milk Junkies after all and we did indeed buy this freezer last summer ONLY for transporting breast milk. We justified it with the good ol' "this thing will come in soooooo handy in a few years' time when we are camping in the front country and want to bring burgers along with us..." Yeah.

Anyway, we usually plug in the freezer at our campsite and that is that. Done. This time, I desperately wanted to explore Nopiming, a more northern, more wild park, and... one that doesn't have any electrical sites. I miss terribly the remote canoe trips we used to take prior to having our little one. We carried in all our food and gear and completely left civilization for up to two weeks at a time. Instead, staying in the front country of Nopiming, immediately after Labour Day and the departure of the great crowds, seemed like the next best option.

Aurora Borealis and moonrise at our campsite.

Following our great success with dry ice in Toronto and Nova Scotia, we decided to repeat the trick for our camping adventure. We unfortunately forgot that the dry ice store would be closed on Labour Day. Yet again, we ended up relying on a stranger's helping hand to make our trip possible. Ian called up the Nopiming Lodge, fortunately located around the corner from our campground, and made a deal to allow us to store our donor milk there.

When we arrived, the lodge owner took the milk from us and was about to put it into one cooler when suddenly he thought better of it and stuck it in the other. Curious, Ian took a peek in cooler #1 the next day when he went to retrieve some milk: it was being used to freeze a freshly caught and still very aromatic bear head and hide. Yep, I'd say better not to store our baby's milk alongside a bloody hunting trophy. That would have been a little too much wilderness for me.

I'm glad it all worked out, but I'm kind of looking forward, in a bitter-sweet sort of way, to next summer when we will most probably no longer be using donor milk. It is extraordinary that we have been doing this for nearly 17 months – 17 months of incredible generosity from donors and many other folks, as well as 17 months of constantly sorting out the weird and wonderful logistics of milk sharing.

Thank You!

We want to extend many thanks to all the people who have offered to help us with freezer space when we come to Toronto. The response to my last post has been amazing! Wow.

Megan Jackson's comment about dry ice really got us thinking. Ian phoned Air Canada, had his call dumped twice, and waited on hold for ages. Finally, the person he spoke to said, "We've never had a situation like this before. This is so interesting for me!" After much consultation with others and re-reading of her handbook, she put a note on our file stating that we had permission to travel with not more than 5 pounds of dry ice, for the purposes of keeping our baby's human milk frozen. Since dry ice immediately turns into a gas as it warms, our cooler must be vented.

It is necessary to work all this out in advance and only carry a limited amount because too much dry ice could asphyxiate animals that are traveling in the hold. Who knows how many gay men might be flying with coolers of breast milk and dry ice? I'd say hopefully more and more, as people continue to learn about the tremendous benefits of human milk for human babies!

We will store Jacob's milk in the top freezers of three different, very generous families, all located close to where my brother lives in Toronto. The day that we fly to Halifax, we'll buy the dry ice and pack up our cooler. We need to add a layer of cardboard in between the dry ice and the milk because the dry ice is so extremely cold that it could burn the milk bags.

Many thanks again to everyone who asked friends, relatives and friends of friends about freezer space! We'll let you know how it all turns out.

Traveling With Our Stash

We've flown a few times with donated breast milk in order to visit our relatives in Vancouver. Next week, we'll be attempting something rather more challenging. A mission in the Apollo Program comes to mind - we need to pack necessities to support life far from home and we'll be depending on technology to make it all work out. I can see the worried look on Tom Hanks' face: "The freezer appears to be... offline."

Joking aside, we haven't yet figured out what to do to secure baby Jacob's milk. We will stay in Toronto for four days with my brother while Ian, my partner, does a bit of work in town. Then it is on to Halifax. Our flight is late in the evening, and we'll stay in a hotel near the airport upon our arrival. The next day, Ian's birth mother will pick us up and drive us to her home near Lunenberg, a two-hour trip.

All this is to say that we need to pack our cooler of human milk so that it will stay completely frozen on a potentially very hot summer's evening, overnight, and well into the following day. We will take our most densely-stored milk and try to have as little air space around it as possible. We'll carefully tape the seams of the cooler. Best of all would be to ensure that at the beginning of our trip to Halifax, the milk is as cold as possible. Unfortunately, my brother in Toronto has a small freezer on top of his refrigerator, not a deep freezer capable of going down to a lower temperature.

Thus we find ourselves using the internet and Facebook not just for finding donated milk, but also for helping us store it during our stay in Toronto. Someone in Toronto must have space in a deep freezer they'd be willing to share! I've put out a call on my personal Facebook page as well as Emma Kwasnica's worldwide group, Informed Choice: Birth and Beyond. Hopefully, someone will come to our rescue - Kevin Bacon, maybe?

Petition to Ease Restrictions on Breast Milk in Carry-On Baggage

Last week we packed up yet again and got ready to make our trip out west to visit our relatives. We don't have any family in Winnipeg, but we believe it is very important for our child to have a strong relationship with his grandparents. So, as much as I hate it, we fly frequently.

We took along several bottles of donated breast milk in a cooler, as well as an ice pack. At security, they asked to open up our cooler as usual. All seemed normal. And then came the question, "But how old is your baby?"

"He's thirteen months."

"Oh, ok. This is fine. Go ahead."

The exchange seemed simple enough, but suddenly left me wondering, is there an age at which I won't be able to bring milk along for my baby? Is thirteen months ok, but say, eighteen months too old? Why did they ask my baby's age?

We rely upon donated breast milk to feed our baby. I nurse him using an at-breast supplementation system, and am able to enjoy a satisfying breastfeeding relationship as a result. I would like to keep breastfeeding my child as long as he needs it. Since the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for two years AND BEYOND, I am and will continue to be grateful for human milk donations. If and when we are no longer able to find donated human milk, we will probably move to using whole goat's milk in the supplementation system. Goat's milk is closer to human milk than cow's milk is, but it is probably not commonly available beyond airport security.

During our stay in Vancouver, I looked up the rules. In Canada, you may only bring extra liquid aboard a flight for a child UNDER the age of 2. So, I decided to start a petition on change.org. Please sign it and share widely!

http://www.change.org/petitions/canadian-air-transport-security-authority-ease-restrictions-on-breast-milk-in-carry-on-baggage#

"Canadian parents using expressed breast milk currently face greater restrictions when flying with their children than do their American counterparts. Only passengers traveling with infants UNDER the age of 24 months may bring aboard more than 100ml of liquid per container, inside a 1 litre plastic bag. Women traveling without their babies are not permitted to bring their expressed milk on board. Those traveling with children above age two are not exempt from restrictions on liquids.

"The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2 AND BEYOND. For those parents who must express their milk and bottlefeed, or who use donated milk and an at-breast supplemental nursing system, carrying liquid on their persons is a must. Why should the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority decide at what age a child no longer needs breast milk, especially during potentially stressful travel?

"Passengers traveling without their babies should also be allowed to carry their precious breast milk rather than pump and dump. Breast milk, known in the birth world as "liquid gold" for its important health benefits, should be exempt from the usual restrictions on liquids.

"In the US, breast milk is treated as liquid medication and passengers may carry it on board in quantities greater than 3 ounces WITH OR WITHOUT A BABY OR TODDLER PRESENT. Sign this petition and tell the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority to start valuing breast milk as vitally important nutrition for babies and children!"

http://www.change.org/petitions/canadian-air-transport-security-authority-ease-restrictions-on-breast-milk-in-carry-on-baggage#

Shipping Bodily Fluids

Breast milk storage bags!

My hubby is known to the local Greyhound employees as a human tissues guy - he collects frozen breast milk. I think we've used the company five times now to receive human milk arriving from out of town.

When Jacob was a few weeks old, a generous mom in Thunder Bay sent us her freezer stash. After a night of "sleep" with our newborn Ian went early in the morning to meet the incoming bus. We thought we were receiving the Holy Grail - this batch of milk would keep Jacob exclusively breastfed for his first month of life. We breathed a huge sigh of relief when we opened the cooler and saw that the milk was still frozen solid.

Shipping breast milk is obviously a time-sensitive endeavor. It also depends upon the milk being well-packed in a sturdy cooler, especially in the summer. If the amount is over about 500 ounces, there is no need to use dry ice, but in any case breast milk should be packed tightly. Any remaining air space in the cooler should be taken up by newspaper, foam, or other material. We always try to pick up shipped milk as soon as it has made it into town, although that sometimes involves a bit of convincing (shall we say prodding, even?) and educating about the importance and benefits of human milk.

Last summer when we were visiting Calgary, we asked friends back home in Winnipeg to ship us additional milk because Jacob had jumped into a growth spurt, quickly eating his way through what we'd brought with us. We struggled to reach the bus company on the phone, and when we did we were given an incorrect shipping schedule. In short, we realized at 6:40pm that the milk had already arrived and that the depot closed at 7pm. There was no way we would make it to the depot in time, but we got a friend who was closer to try to collect the milk for us.

"I can only release this package to Ian. That is, unless you have written permission from him to pick it up." Apparently the tracking number and confirmation via phone would not do.

My friend blurted out, "But this is breast milk for a very sick baby. It will go bad if we leave it here overnight. We have to get it into a freezer."

Of course, Jacob was fine, but we certainly didn't want to be tossing out spoiled breast milk the next day and feeding him formula. The woman gave up the parcel, and back at my friend's place we unpacked the milk to find it on the verge of starting to thaw.

More recently, we've been receiving breast milk from a prolific, amazing donor in Saskatoon and sharing the goods with several other local families in need. The bus from Saskatoon gets into Winnipeg at 9pm, exactly when the bus depot's counters close. Twice Ian has managed to convince an employee to keep one counter open just a little later.

"Well, how warm is your warehouse?" he asked the shipping guy.

"Does this stuff have to stay frozen or something?"

"Yes," he repeated, "It's frozen human breast milk. It will spoil if it thaws. You could help feed several babies tonight, you know!" Each time, the man at the counter relented and admitted that it didn't make much difference to him if he stayed open a few minutes longer - he had to be there still anyway.

Finally, this last time, one of the Greyhound employees saw Ian and said, "Oh, yeah, you're here for breast milk, right?"

He told Ian that they regularly keep a counter open late for a few doctors receiving samples and for the guys from Canadian Blood Services. How appropriate that, in the shipping world at least, breast milk is taking its place among other human medical necessities.

Pump It Out!

This evening when I thawed some donor milk for Jacob, I noticed that written on that bag was not only the date and amount of milk pumped, but also, "Happy Birthday Auntie Sue *heart*!" This is not the first time I've seen notes written on milk bags. Donors frequently mark Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, and other holidays on their liquid gold. There are no vacations from pumping.

Anyone who has breastfed a baby for even a short period of time understands that there is serious commitment involved in the enterprise, but the full-time pumpers are truly in a class of their own when it comes to dedication. They spend a minimum of fifteen minutes, at the very least three times a day, but more often something like five, attached to a machine. This includes nighttime sessions, where they must get up and pump, in addition to feeding their babies bottles when required. Nursing, on the other hand, is also time consuming and sometimes very challenging, but when it is going well, it is the best cuddling anyone can give or get. It is a pleasure, while pumping is something that must be done.
Pumped breast milk marks the passage of time in many ways. The date is of course written on the bags, and in the case of one of our donors, this includes the time on the 24-hour clock. The little messages and congratulatory notes remind us of the big calendar days. The milk too changes with time. Milk pumped for a newborn is very yellow and rich and then gradually becomes more clear and pale as the baby gets older. People who nurse their babies directly don't get to see any of this and are often surprised to observe the sheer volume of milk that Jacob drinks.
Our main donor has been pumping for us for nearly an entire year now. Every week we have driven to her house to pick up fresh breast milk. Her production is finally slowing down, and she has happily given up her middle of the night pumping session. Last week, after suffering from the flu, her supply took a real hit and there was no fresh milk for our boy. This woman pumped not only for her own baby who never learned how to breastfeed, but also for ours, for almost twelve months straight, multiple times per day. To top it off, she seems terribly apologetic for no longer being able to give us milk for Jacob. My only question is, how can we possibly thank her appropriately for this astonishing gift?

Newborn Bliss All Over Again

A few days ago I enjoyed a most powerful deja vu with a teeny tiny baby. I can still see her little mouth gaping wide open searching for my nipple as she tries again and again to latch. Her hands make tight fists that press into my chest, pushing herself away from my nipple, and away from what she wants so desperately - the food source. Not having much, if any, breast tissue to accommodate her limbs, I gently move her arms out of the way to bring her lips in contact with my nipple. In hunger, she puts her finger in her mouth at the same time as my nipple. Again, I move her hand out of the way. Absolutely everything in her life is about wanting to suckle and swallow.

Lila doesn't care that I'm transgender - she just wants to breastfeed.

And then I feel her finally grab hold and not let go. The pull of her lips is strong and determined, yet precarious. I don't dare move my arms for fear of unlatching her. I hear her rhythmic, satisfied gulping and know that I am the centre of her universe. Nothing can distract her from her desire to breastfeed. She doesn't know or care that I'm a transgender guy using a supplemental nursing system and donated breast milk. I share in her bliss.

Then my back starts to ache from the stiffness of my pose. I look at the clock and see that forty-five minutes have gone by and she's only taken an ounce or two. Those newborns take forever to eat! She sleeps for a brief few minutes and then is ready to nurse yet again. Now I remember the sheer exhaustion of the early weeks. Still, my day spent with this seven-week-old was a gift.

My friend had called us around 10am that morning to say that she was feeling very ill. Ian picked her up and brought her to the hospital. He took her infant, Lila, and toddler, Samuel, to our home where I was entertaining a number of friends and their babies. It turned out that the poor sick mom had appendicitis and would spend that night and the following day in the hospital.

First we tried to bottlefeed our tiny charge, but she choked and gagged on the fast-flowing milk. Then my friend Emily attempted to finger-feed her with an SNS tube - sometimes it worked, other times the milk wouldn't flow at all.

In the afternoon, Ian walked Lila over to the hospital to be nursed by her mother in the emergency waiting room. He suggested that I could breastfed Lila the next time around, and my friend agreed. So, a few hours later, after a failed attempt at finger-feeding, I did what was easiest for everyone and nursed the babe.

Breastfeeding Lila was beautiful and joyful, and also brought up some anxiety for me. I have so little breast tissue that latching on a baby takes tremendous focus and determination from both parties involved. Today I am suddenly in awe of myself for having done it, day in, day out, and never, ever giving in to a single bottle feeding when Jacob was little. And I got a good reminder this week of WHY I did it: even with all my specific challenges, nursing was obviously a happier and more comforting experience to Lila, who surely must have been missing her mother.

My own Jacob is almost a year old, and I breastfeed him with ease. He crawls into my lap, pulls my usually open, button-down shirt out of the way, and latches on by himself whenever he wants. If he seems tired, or upset, or out of sorts, or even if I'm just sick of running after him and badly want to sit down for a few minutes, I get out the SNS and nurse him. I wish that more people knew about the pleasures of nursing an older baby or toddler. Gone is all that intensity and effort of feeding a newborn, and what is left, for us anyway, is a comforting, easy relationship.

After my friend received her diagnosis and a surgery was planned for later in the evening, her husband came over to pick up their kids. Lila was full and fast asleep, and Samuel, the toddler, grinned from ear to ear at the sight of his Dad. We were thanked profusely, but in all honesty I just about feel guilty: I got to nurse a precious, heart-melting seven-week-old baby and hang around with her sweet, surprisingly helpful toddling brother while their Mom was dealing with a ton of pain. I'm pretty sure I got the long end of the stick on that one.

Milk Sharing Frenzy

Milk sharing seems to be gaining ground quickly! Local chapters of Human Milk 4 Human Babies are seeing a flurry of activity. I've also noticed several milk sharing blogs lately:

http://milksharing.blogspot.com/ This blog has wonderful info on how to store and ship milk safely.

http://missionmamamilk.blogspot.com/ Mission Mama Milk is a new blog, started just last month and has two authors - one woman giving her precious milk and another receiving it for her little one.

http://milkforbabyanthony.blogspot.com/ Milk For Baby Anthony is all about getting human milk for a sick little guy who cannot tolerate anything else.

I also came across a "Milk For Baby Chad" page and a "Milk for Baby Logan" page and there are probably countless others.

Maybe things are finally beginning to change, and more and more people will appreciate the life-giving qualities of human milk! And, yay for the internet.